Everyday Romance: It Doesn't Have to be Elaborate

I think a lot of guys think of being romantic as something that's going to take a lot of effort on their part, and so they don't do much of it. Listen guys, some of that is a good thing. I do some of that, but not as much as I probably could: I mean life happens. There are kids, there are jobs, there are chores, and there are much-needed moments of sitting around and not having to do something. That's all important and should all come up. There are also times to suck it up, get dressed up, and go on a date like "back in the day." There are also times where you go places to get away from it all... except not to get away from each other. There are also times where you turn your attention to the lovey stuff like cuddling and kissing, both of which will be featured here in the "it doesn't have to be elaborate part." Still, there are hundreds of opportunities every single day that romance can sneak in without becoming a major operation or project.

We all end up standing in front of a stove, sink, or something at some point in the day (maybe it's sitting in front of a computer instead). Paying attention (that's almost always first and very important) to when the timing is good: i.e. they're not totally engrossed in something important like boiling oil or some-such, and then coming up behind and touching your partner is everyday romance that takes approximately... um, 5 seconds of your day. People appreciate that attention. You can do it too much, but it's kind of hard to as long as you're not being all clingy or weird about it (or obviously trying to get into someone's pants or shirt every time you do it). Little kisses on the neck or shoulder are nice, a little hug is good, and I like to play the game where I walk by, draw a little heart on my wife somewhere, and then walk off. Romance done: two seconds. Check. Guess what. She likes it!

Other things that are small and easy include actually going out of your way to do something together even if it's nothing big. "Hey, I'm going out to take a look in the garden or get the mail; would you like to walk around with me while I do it?" It's really easy because it pretty much just comes down to showing another person two things: 1) I like you; 2) I like spending time with you. Not hard. Invite them along.

I've mentioned this before, I think, but offering to make or get something for your peeps is a great little thing to do. You can do it sometimes when you don't want something but are getting up. You can do it sometimes when you're getting something for yourself. You can even do it sometimes when you want something but need extra motivation to get off your butt and do it: hmm, I might think, I'd like some coffee or something, but that seems like some effort would be required... oh well... "HEY WIFE, would you like some coffee?" Yes? Okay! Win-win. Seriously. Now watch this: "we could take a break, if you have the time, and drink it together." Then guess what... you can go back to whatever you were doing before.

These are lots of small ways to be everyday romantic. Some people like flowers, and so you could pick some up (with some groceries) on your way home (my wife prefers the practical, so that gallon of milk I grabbed is way more romantic). You could just think of favors you're pretty sure you might get asked to do and do them before you're asked. For bonus points, you can answer the thanks you get with "well, I was just thinking about you and realized that...." Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Maybe the best little thing I ever got in the habit of doing is writing and strategically leaving little notes that say something nice to my wife. They're usually only a sentence long, and sometimes they're more funny than anything but always bent toward the "this is why I like your or am thinking about you" theme. They take fifteen seconds to write and ten more to stick somewhere, and my wife keeps every freaking one of them. Don't tell me that's not a sign.

Remember, a thousand little things together is a big thing. On the other hand, zero little things is also a big thing.